One Two Three!

My period was late, and I was just not sure what to think, I mean it can be anything, yet what If It was actually happening! I didn’t want to know alone so I bought the home test and in the weekend I drove two hours to where my husband worked at the time, so we get to know together!

I read the instruction as If it was my high school final exam material, and when I finished I did the test, they said you need to wait for two minutes, probably longest two minutes in history!

It was positive! but I wasn’t, or I didn’t want to be..I told my husband what if the test is wrong, I will go to the doctor  and double-check. Although he seemed happy and certain the test was right, he just went a long with me.

You can guess what happened after that, yes the blood test confirmed the result and I was then 6 weeks pregnant!

Truth is at this stage I am not sure what I am feeling, a mix between relief, joy and shock! Bit overwhelmed, bit scared, bit worried and a lot more..

I’ve been dizzy and tired since then, major mood swings between laughs and tears and when I asked around they told me it is normal to feel this way in the first three months. I am just hoping they are right and my life will get back to normal after the three months are over!

Even Ramadan is not the same this year, as the maximum I could fast is two hours and after that I feel dizzy, may God forgive me and give me strength to compensate..

Well, as they say, nothing great comes easy and although I don’t realize it most of the time, but I am in the process of helping another human become alive!

Pray for me.. It will be smooth, pray the baby will be healthy, pray I will be able to handle it and good luck If you are going through the same :)!

Camera Rolling…Action!

These words were music to my ears in the last two weeks, a dream that came true.

I am not sure when I started telling my friends “I want to be a director when I grow up” but  I know that I stopped. What happens is you grow up and life takes you in different paths not necessary close to what you have dreamed of as a child.

Some will argue that you should take your life where you want. Yes, that is how things should be, but sometimes if you are tired or lacking resources and support, you let life take you where is easy and comfortable, not realizing that easy and comfortable is actually a slow death to your soul!

I saw an advertisement on Facebook about a directing course conducted by a  well-known Egyptian director and lecturer at the university in Cairo. I got so excited and I thought I will just ask where and when. This time things were made easy for me, all I needed to do is  decide and go! The course was free of charge, sponsored by a local production company and in a building only 10 min away from where I work, and when I asked my manager about permission to leave work early he said “Yes”!

I had all mixed feelings; excited because this is the closest to directing I have ever been, but also scared and insecure as I wasn’t the best at it as I thought I would be, as most of the other attendees, had media backgrounds and even worked on their personal projects before attending the course.

My thirst was very obvious during the theoretical part, as I was so engaged and always asking questions, but when the practical part started, I was more quiet and hesitant as it was my first time around big cameras, dollies and cranes, but I was energized every time the director shouted 3 2 1 ..camera rolling..Action!

This was a good reality check. From the wishful statement of “I want to be a director” to what It actually takes to be one! Will I be able to fight “easy and comfortable”? Will I be able to do that? Do I have time to do that? Will I make life take me there?

I guess we will Live and see.

It started with a “Like”!

If you have been reading my blog, you would know that I haven’t really been lucky with men, and If you are close to me, you would know that I was lately practicing coping with the idea of staying alone for the rest of my life, not necessarily lonely, but alone.

I kept hearing people saying “It happens when you least expect it” and I used to think they say that only to make us singles feel better and have hope. I always believed that you have to work to get something and nothing happens just like that.

I was wrong and right, you have to work, but not to get the guy, but to make yourself ready to introduce him into your life. Women and Men are two different universes, that need to merge their water and soil, an earthquake might happen but the result will be a rich soil ready for new life and nourishment.

It happened when I least expected, It started with a “Like” on Instagram and now we are married! I would be lying If I say It Is a paradise everyday, because first phase is when you learn each other’s habits and try to see how you can cope with them and change yours or his If change is an option.

It is a journey that has just started, for a person who has been making the last call on almost everything for the last 16 years, It is tough to share making decisions, but Hey! I wished for this to happen since I was a little girl playing with my barbie hoping for a ken! I might as well enjoy It 😉

and ..

Believe them when they say It will happen when you least expect It, because It does 🙂

Let’s make Mars a better place!

Yesterday marked the last day in the Dubai Film festival. I attended many screenings but yesterday combination made me think a lot.

The movie was called “The space between us” about a boy who was born on Mars and how he coped away from earth. It was a good movie to watch and I enjoyed It, but the director introducing the film mentioned that Nasa watched it and loved It, and he hopes that It will encourage spending money and effort to create missions to Mars. Just after that, the host said that they will be screening a UNICEF short movie about Iraqi refugees, and this is when the conflict started.

I was watching the suffering of the kids in the refugee camps, thinking of the Syrian refugees everywhere and the disturbing news of Aleppo, then the movie about Mars started!

I am diffidently missing a piece here, so people are excited to spend money on other planets to make them more suitable to live in, and ditching mother earth and all on it? what kind of logic is that? If you understand great, because I don’t.

It is not how we look…

Today we had a custome day at work, or as most people call it Halloween celebration, totally not my thing, but I always have the fear of missing out so I take part in almost all work activities, as long as I can 🙂

Of course I wasn’t prepared with a scary custome, so I decided to wear my Palestinian traditional dress and put the belly dancing scarf, that is usually wrapped around the waist, on my head. Yep I did that!

I was walking around with bling bling sound effect and when anyone asked me what I was I said I was a Palestinian princess lol, I would say that was way better than my last year trial, where I wore orange and I said I was the bumpkin haha. Shameless!

It is an amazing feeling when you don’t take yourself seriously, and allow yourself and others to laugh, but always have the control of how you want to be seen.

I stepped back in my thoughts today and started watching my colleges around, a lady from finance was wearing a snow-white outfit, walking around with a red apple, she was in the middle of a discussion about reports and charts. I myself with my the belly dancing scarf on my head, went to the Android developer to discuss an Issue I found and I saw his smile while I was approaching him, I smiled too, but once I started explaining the issue and went into details we switched back to work mood.

at the end of the day I had one thought; It is never how we look, It is how we see ourselves that matters, and people sense that… and today was a real proof 🙂

 

About last weekend..#SWDXB16

last year, around this time, I was depressed. a friend wanted to do me a favor so he got me a ticket to startup weekend 2015. I remember how I pushed my self to do it, came with an Idea and actually pitched it. Last year I didn’t win, my Idea didn’t even get enough votes for me to create a team, so I joined another team and I enjoyed every minute. I diffidently went out of my depression, and the whole thing reminded me of how good  I am at breaking the ice with strangers and  how easy for me to make new friends! and that exactly what I needed at that time.

This year was different, I was more aware of who I am and what I am capable of. I registered with another friend to startup weekend 2016, each with her own idea. My Idea came out of a personal struggle to always look modern and stylish in Hijab, so I wanted to create a dedicated platform for head scarfs where tutorials and tips are there to help style all these different scarfs and to be able to buy them at the same time. I called it Hijabek.

My friend idea didn’t make it this time, so she joined my team. Yes, this year my idea had enough votes for me to have my own team :). We were only three, but we managed very well. we did definitely have our ups and downs during these 54 hours, especially regarding the final presentation of the initial idea, but at the end we were all on the same page.

This year, with a lot of  stress and long hours of investigating, validating and coming close to a ready to present idea, I was more confident, and you know what, we won second place!!! deep down you know if you were close to succeed or not, but you can never guarantee what the judges think about your Idea and If it will make it in the big demanding unstable market out there, but this time we made it 🙂 The amount of relief is un-describable, we were so tired but so happy, definitely success is a very rewarding feeling.

This is the start, this is when you know that your idea might actually make it, only If you continued working hard on it. All the best to the other teams who didn’t make it this time and big THANKS to all the mentors and organizers who all gave us a great push forward.

Who knows you might see Hijabek soon online 🙂

Unpredictable Life..

With each day that passes as a grown up, you realize that you should tame your expectations to reach zero, well that is hard to reach and people spend lifetimes to cope with changes they didn’t expect or see happening.

As a child you see all these cartoons where things always end with everybody happy and as a female teen with “they live happily ever after”. It is only when you stand alone on your feet you start realizing that you need to live day by day, feel the feeling only for that day, react but don’t overreact, be sad but don’t dwell there and be happy..of course be happy but except imperfections and remember the world never evolves around you. something you consider bad happens to you, maybe is in the plan for someone else happiness and trust in God that happiness is destined for you too.

Working in Dubai is a good practise to carpe diem, try not to expect the forever and you will live happily. many people I know lost their jobs without previous notice and had to head back to their countries. luckily my team and I were informed yesterday that our team will no more exist within 6 to 12 months. It was a chock for sure,but we all are grateful that we were given time and replacement jobs to consider as well. I would call that very merciful compared to others..but did we expect it? No, not at all, we were planing for features to implement and for goals to achieve and much more..but that’t life and that’s how it should be …full of change.

May this change be good.. and may we all be able to enjoy our unpredictable lives.