Have you ever returned a watermelon?

Watermelons have always been an example for things that you cannot guarantee, it is either red or white inside, and you wouldn’t know until you cut it, which in most cases is too late.

In the Arabic culture it is commonly used as a metaphor for marriage; they say it’s “bateekha” i.e watermelon trying to say that once you have it, there is no way back and you need to accept what’s inside, whether red or white.

Based on that, I learned to accept my destiny with watermelons and fruits in general, whats the worst case scenario, you just throw It and buy a new one!

The other day we bought a watermelon with a price tag that said 17.5 Dirhams, which is ok, we reached home and I was looking at the bill and I found out that the actual price of it was 50 Dirhams, as that tag was per kg! We laughed and made a joke that there is no way on earth we would have bought a watermelon that expensive in Jordan or Palestine.

Next day we decided to eat from it. Husband cut half of it and we stared eating but man the taste was so bad and this is when we got disappointed, expensive and tasteless, what a shame!

few days later we went to do our usual grocery shopping, but I was surprised that my husband insisted on complaining about the water melon to the customer support, I kept quiet as I wasn’t convinced, I just thought that was our naseeb, It just happened to be our luck. To my surprise, the Vegetable and fruit manager followed us and told us you can bring the watermelon and get your money back!

Two days later, we brought back half of the watermelon and actually got the money back! Yes, I would call this a great customer support, but also I would actually praise my husband for thinking he has the right to reject what he felt was unfair and actually got things straighten up even after 6 days of the purchase!

I guess what I am trying to say, literally and metaphorically never accept what is inside your watermelon, there is always a chance to make things right, you just need to know your rights ūüôā

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Half way through..

I am in week 20 which is half way through my pregnancy. Second trimester  has been definitely way more stable than the first one. I feel more like myself, able to go out without looking forced to! able to eat  without fearing vomiting! I even managed to attend some body balance classes as well.

In this phase my belly looks more like a pregnant bump, and can’t be confused anymore with a post falafel meal belly, If you know what I mean. My feet are a bit swollen and It is harder to find the right side to sleep on, but still better than the first trimester.

Although It has been tough, I have to confess, this pregnancy has its funny moments too, or what people usually refer to as pregnancy brain moments, here are some of mine:

  1. Leaving the house key in the car and wanting to call to change the lock before my friend suggested to search the car!
  2. Looking for the phone, while I am on a call ( happens probably to all lol)
  3. Reaching the cash desk at a cloth shop, before even paying, I see a recite and I ask the cashier if it’s mine!
  4. Frustrated why the car won’t lock, realizing later it is still on.
  5. Realizing that I am wearing the house flip flops after leaving the house

I am sure I had more like these moments and I forgot ..well that’s what they call #pregnancybrain.

One Two Three!

My period was late, and I was just not sure what to think, I mean it can be anything, yet what If It was actually happening! I didn’t want to know alone so I bought the home test and in the weekend I drove two hours to where my husband worked at the time, so we get to know together!

I read the instruction as If it was my high school final exam material, and when I finished I did the test, they said you need to wait for two minutes, probably longest two minutes in history!

It was positive! but I wasn’t, or I didn’t want to be..I told my husband what if the test is wrong, I will go to the doctor ¬†and double-check. Although he seemed happy and certain the test was right, he just went a long with me.

You can guess what happened after that, yes the blood test confirmed the result and I was then 6 weeks pregnant!

Truth is at this stage I am not sure what I am feeling, a mix between relief, joy and shock! Bit overwhelmed, bit scared, bit worried and a lot more..

I’ve been dizzy and tired since then, major mood swings between laughs and tears and when I asked around they told me it is normal to feel this way in the first three months. I am just hoping they are right and my life will get back to normal after the three months are over!

Even Ramadan is not the same this year, as the maximum I could fast is two hours and after that I feel dizzy, may God forgive me and give me strength to compensate..

Well, as they say, nothing great comes easy and although I don’t realize it most of the time, but I am in the process of helping another human become alive!

Pray for me.. It will be smooth, pray the baby will be healthy, pray I will be able to handle it and good luck If you are going through the same :)!

Camera Rolling…Action!

These words were music to my ears in the last two weeks, a dream that came true.

I am not sure when I started telling my friends “I want to be a director when I grow up” but ¬†I know that I stopped. What happens is you grow up and life takes you in different paths not necessary close to what you have dreamed of as a child.

Some will argue that you should take your life where you want. Yes, that is how things should be, but sometimes if you are tired or lacking resources and support, you let life take you where is easy and comfortable, not realizing that easy and comfortable is actually a slow death to your soul!

I saw an advertisement on Facebook about a directing course conducted by a ¬†well-known Egyptian director and lecturer at the university in Cairo. I got so excited and I thought I will just ask where and when. This time things were made easy for me, all I needed to do is ¬†decide and go! The course was free of charge, sponsored by a local production company and in a building only 10 min away from where I work, and when I asked my manager about permission to leave work early he said “Yes”!

I had all mixed feelings; excited because this is the closest to directing I¬†have ever been, but also scared and insecure as I wasn’t the best at it as I thought I would be, as most of the other attendees, had media backgrounds and even worked on their personal projects before attending the course.

My thirst was very obvious during the theoretical part, as I was so engaged and always asking questions, but when the practical part started, I was more quiet and hesitant as it was my first time around big cameras, dollies and cranes, but I was energized every time the director shouted 3 2 1 ..camera rolling..Action!

This was a good reality check. From the wishful statement of “I want to be a director” to what It actually takes to be one! Will I be able¬†to fight “easy and comfortable”? Will I be able to do that? Do I have time to do that? Will I¬†make life take me there?

I guess we will Live and see.

It started with a “Like”!

If you have been reading my blog, you would know that I haven’t really been lucky with men, and If you are close to me, you would know that I was lately practicing coping with the idea of staying alone for the rest of my life, not necessarily lonely, but alone.

I kept hearing people saying “It happens when you least expect it” and I used to think they say that only to make us singles feel better and have hope. I always believed that you have to work to get something and nothing happens just like that.

I was wrong and right, you have to work, but not to get the guy, but to make yourself ready to introduce him into your life. Women and Men are two different universes, that need to merge their water and soil, an earthquake might happen but the result will be a rich soil ready for new life and nourishment.

It happened when I least expected, It started with a “Like” on¬†Instagram¬†and now we are married! I would be lying If I say It Is a paradise everyday, because first phase is when you learn each other’s habits and try to see how you can cope with them and change yours or his If change is an option.

It is a journey that has just started, for a person who has been making the last call on almost everything for the last 16 years, It is tough to share making decisions, but Hey! I wished for this to happen since I was a little girl playing with my barbie hoping for a ken! I might as well enjoy It ūüėČ

and ..

Believe them when they say It will happen when you least expect It, because It does ūüôā

Let’s make Mars a better place!

Yesterday marked the last day in the Dubai Film festival. I attended many screenings but yesterday combination made me think a lot.

The movie was called “The space between us” about a boy who was born on Mars and how he coped away from earth. It was a good movie to watch and I enjoyed It, but the director introducing the film mentioned that Nasa watched it and loved It, and he hopes that It will encourage spending money and effort to create missions to Mars. Just after that, the host said that they will be screening a UNICEF short movie about Iraqi refugees, and this is when the conflict started.

I was watching the suffering of the kids in the refugee camps, thinking of the Syrian refugees everywhere and the disturbing news of Aleppo, then the movie about Mars started!

I am diffidently missing a piece here, so people are excited to spend money on other planets to make them more¬†suitable¬†to live in, and ditching mother earth and all on it? what kind of logic is that? If you understand great, because I don’t.

It is not how we look…

Today we had a custome day at work, or as most people call it Halloween celebration, totally not my thing, but I always have the fear of missing out so I take part in almost all work activities, as long as I can ūüôā

Of course I wasn’t prepared with a scary custome, so I decided to wear my Palestinian traditional dress and put the belly dancing scarf, that is usually wrapped around the waist, on my head. Yep I did that!

I was walking around with bling bling sound effect and when anyone asked me what I was I said I was a Palestinian princess lol, I would say that was way better than my last year trial, where I wore orange and I said I was the bumpkin haha. Shameless!

It is an amazing feeling when you don’t take yourself seriously, and allow yourself and others to laugh, but always have the control of how you want to be seen.

I stepped back in my thoughts today and started watching my colleges around, a lady from finance was wearing a snow-white outfit, walking around with a red apple, she was in the middle of a discussion about reports and charts. I myself with my the belly dancing scarf on my head, went to the Android developer to discuss an Issue I found and I saw his smile while I was approaching him, I smiled too, but once I started explaining the issue and went into details we switched back to work mood.

at the end of the day I had one thought; It is never¬†how we look, It is how we see ourselves that matters, and people sense that… and today was a real proof ūüôā